Now Introducing........

Blake gets the first look into the box to see what gender the baby is!

He's got a secret...

We're having a girl!!!

Joseph mainly chose the name Blaire.

It has been a favorite of his for a long time.
I discovered the name in one of my books and when I brought it up (with the last pregnancy), it was just what Joseph wanted!

I chose the middle name LydiAnn.

Grandpa Charlie's mother's name was Lydia and I absolutely Love him, and her name.

When Kara (my best friend) and I were teenagers we used to write letters to eachother. 

We had a fascination with the Amish and so chose Amish names to go by in our letters.

Her Amish name was Ann.

LydiAnn is a way of naming Blaire in honor of my Grandpa & my best friend Kara.

22 Weeks 1 Day

Blake went home with my mom after shopping. My pain kicked in some, so I'd taken some pills to help out. By 1am, I fell asleep quilting in my chair. Joseph woke me to have me get in bed with him and I put my foot on heat to go to sleep. 

I woke at 8am to my medication alarm and we went back to sleep. 

Joseph then woke up at 1:45pm and he woke me at 2pm when he was about to leave for work. 

We slept solid from almost 2am til 2pm!  

I guess we were super tired from not sleeping much the night before! 

I'm so glad Blake went home with mom! 

I think the reason I was able to sleep so long without waking from pain is because I took 2 muscle relaxants before bed rather than the typical 1 pill... 

I'll try again tonight with 2 and see how it goes. Pain today has kicked in just before 4pm... 

21 Weeks 3 & 4 Days

My foot pain has still been minimal which has been great! On Thursday, though, my back felt like I pulled something. I had stabbing pain randomly and cramping like/aching pain for the rest of the day! It was no bueno. 

I slept well through the night and on Friday around 1pm, cramping started. If I stood for any length of time, I started cramping hard and would have to lay back down. At first I thought it was intestinal cramping and maybe I was constipated, but I was cramping on my sides, top of my uterus, and low front of uterus just above the pelvic bone. The pain would come and go too. If I stayed laying down, I was able to tolerate the pain because it was minimal. But, if I would stand up for any time, the pain was extreme. Mom came over to be with me and to take care of Blake. The pain started at 1pm, and was all done by 6pm. Then, Mom and I were able to go grocery shopping for the next day's party.

My previous pregnancy, I started having major cramps with standing at 25 weeks. This pain is the same pain as then, but this time starting at 22 weeks almost. Last time, I was unable to stand to make meals or to clean kitchen or anything else. This time, it is harder with having Blake and needing assistance for his care. Mom is in town and will be a huge help, I'm sure!

22 Weeks 0 Days

My minimal pain streak has come to an abrupt halt; 

My pain has come back with a vengeance!

I went to bed early on Monday morning just fine. (Our new bedtime due to Joseph's new shift change is between midnight and 3am)

Within a very short time, I started to be nauseated and feel crampy. I sat up in bed (rather than laying down) and that didn't help so I laid back down. I started feeling worse so I got on my hands and knees to breathe with no pressure from my organs being so squished up inside me! It didn't work. I then rushed to the bathroom, expecting to throw up from the intense cramping pain. It felt just like the pain I'd had 3 days previous but the cramping was more intestinal rather than uterine! I sat on my throne for a little while waiting for something to come out either end. Nothing happened except me moaning in pain. I went back to bed and only a short time later, I was rushing back to my throne. Cramping was quite intense and I'm sure Joseph could hear me down the short hall. My foot started hurting while there, but I couldn't do anything about it. And, I'd already taken a Tylenol just 2-3 hours before. I got back in bed, Joseph put the heat pack on my foot, and started to rub my leg. Pain only grew worse and the cramping continued. I had to rush back to the throne room to finish business. Back in bed pain ceased a bit to let me and Joseph get some rest. Just a few hours later cramping woke me again. I rushed to the bathroom with no results but a very painful foot. I went back into bed, huffing and puffing and moaning up a storm. Joseph got the heat which did nothing. He got the ice for my foot which did nothing. He put ice under my back which did nothing. He rubbed my calf which did minimal. He rubbed my foot which did minimal help. He then leaped up, rolled me onto my side, and aggressively started massaging my lower back with the palm of his hand and that helped some. He put the ice back on my back and went back to rubbing my leg. After at least an hour and some minutes of me writhing in pain; slutching at the sheets, biting my pillow, grabbing anything I could, moaning and nearly crying, the pain finally started to subside. 

We were exhausted. 

Just as Joseph started breathing heavy and I was about to fall into sleep, Blake woke up and came into our room. Joseph got up to put a movie on for him and gave him some cereal. For a little while war raged between desperately needing sleep and caring for Blake. At some point, I fell asleep.

I was woken at 2pm by Joseph leaving for work. He had been up for hours taking care of Blake and letting me sleep. I know he must have been extremely tired too, but he didn't say anything.

During the rest of the day my pain was minimal, steadily holding at a level 4. Mom and I ran errands and went grocery shopping and even with getting home around 10:45pm, my pain was not building. As soon as she left though, the pain did start to rise so I took a Tylenol and when Joseph got home only a few minutes later, he heated up my heat pack. Tonight I will be taking 10mg (rather than 5mg) of the muscle relaxant. That seems to be the best with helping my pain.

21 Weeks 3 Days

I sent in phony bg numbers and it will be interesting to see what doc has to say. I made everything look like it's supposed to with basal checks in the right areas and the changes they will want to make should line up with the raises I want to make =)

Pain has still been minimal/ unmemorable! I've been dealing dizzyness during the day. Since my pain has been lower all I can think is maybe my Methadone dose is now too high? The muscle relaxer has helped more than the Methadone so I'm planning on doing only 5mg during the day rather than 10mg. This dizzyness when levels are good is NOT cool. Its the main reason I've not written down my levels because being dizzy I've not bolused as much as I should. I'm staying higher on purpose because of not knowing where the dizzyness is coming from. Tomorrow I'll start the 5mg for the morning dose. I won't be telling my dr, of course. Dr C, who manages my meds, didn't seem too pleased that I decided to- not take my headache prevention med and to lower my BP med dose.- I just won't tell her what I'm doing until I know if it works or not... Then I'll have to tell her =( 

These drs are so stressing me out. Appointments are back to every other week again. No more once every 3 weeks. 

My nausea has pretty much passed, but I'm having some difficulty with feeling "icky" after eating. It is just like it was before the morning sickness kicked in.

I'm dealing with being much more tired these last few days. I'm sleeping like a rock (not even waking to check bgs at 3am) and Joseph has been getting up with Blake so I can sleep longer. I've been taking naps and it's still not enough... I'm so glad this isn't a busy week!
My back has been doing well. I seem to not have the sciatic pain hardly at all anymore! I'll contribute that to the Chiropractor visits I've been having! My foot, as I stated above, has been unmemorable so I emailed my dr asking if it is still benefitting me to stay off it. I'm hoping he will say that I can go back on my foot =) I'm so ready to walk again!

I've started reading the Abram's Daughters books from Beverly Lewis. It has been quite some time since I read the 5 book series and figured it's time to take a break from Elsie and turn to Abram's Daughters!

Today has been a fairly good day. Until I had to deal with Medco Pharmacy.
I swear those people have no clue how to get things done. 

Instead of ranting, like I did to Joseph, I'll just leave it there. =)


Update on my 20 Week Revelation...
Dr. T. said that I don't have that condition and that I have a bone spur in the exact location where the Os Trigonum bone was removed in 2007... I'm not quite sure what I think yet... I have increased my Elavil and am wondering if that is making any difference. I think if I lower my Methadone that will be able to tell me if the Elavil might be doing something.

21 Weeks 1 Day

I've been dealing with some pain in the last few days, but nothing memorable. I've been taking a little less Tylenol than usual so that is good. I'm not sure if it's due to lower stress, increase of Elavil, or just a lull in the pain. Next few days to a week and it should tell me! Mom and I went shopping this afternoon/ evening and I did very well. I'd taken a preventative Tylenol and ended up not in pain. I've been very tired lately and falling asleep earlier than planned and I've been sleeping hard through the night too without waking up for anything! I've been ignoring my sugar levels for the last few days. My mind has been filled with lots of things, Joseph is getting stressed out about a few things, so diabetes has been put on the rear burner for now. It takes a lot of mental work to keep levels in line and this last week, I've not had the mental space nor the desire to make some. I'll be sending my sugars in to my dr office tomorrow morning. Instead of emailing and say, "Hey I've got nothing for you", I'll just send a phony list to appease them for this week and get back on the ball for next week. Yeah, I'm being a bad girl but my levels aren't whack enough to really be bad. 

I did go low last night for no reason. I had a hard time thinking and when Joseph called me to check in, I could barely answer him. I was coherent enough to give myself Glucagon when he told me to. He suggested that he call 911 but I told him no. While he was talking to me, he was on his radio trying to get someone to relieve his post. He hung up and rushed home. When he walked through the door, I felt limp and still unable to think. He monitored me for a little while and let me rest through the recovery. After a while he woke me to get in bed and to take my pills. I fell asleep with my jeans on and slept like a rock all night (and hogged the whole bed without realizing it!). No low tonight so I don't know what was going on last night!

I have such an awesome husband who takes great care of me! 

God gave me the very best person to help me out when I need it!
<3

Revelation at 20 Weeks

I was standing in my bathroom this morning, doing my makeup and hair, when I got a sudden revelation. I wasn't thinking about my situation at all and all of a sudden, a boat-load of information flooded my mind... I told mom it was a "thought burst from God." 

Last night, while in massive pain, I was praying. 

I know He can heal me, but I know that it has to be His time and not mine. 

I don't understand why I have to suffer with all this pain. 

I'm having such a difficult time lately with keeping in mind that His way is best.

The frustration of the days is taking over and I don't know what to do.

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or the reason for any of it.

Is He giving me an answer now to help me out? 

Not to heal me, but to help me.

Spring 2014: 

I saw Dr. G in Shasta for my back issue. He suggested that my bowel issue could be related to the Para Sympathetic Nervous System. 

Summer 2014: 

I had a conversation with Natalie about my bowel issues and she suggested that it was my body's stress response. Even though I don't feel stressed out, my body is (for whatever reason) and is showing it's stress by my bowel issue.

Fall 2014: 

I noticed a pattern of mind racing, nightmares, inability to shut my mind off to go to sleep, and bowel issue still persisting.

September 2014: 

I started having massive headaches not related to blood pressures and both Dr. G and Natalie's suggestions coincided in my head. I visited my primary care, Dr. D. He agreed with their suggestions and started me on Elavil, an Anti-Depressant to control my symptoms and minimize headaches.

For a 4-5 week period from September to end of October, I had minimal pain. It was the strangest thing. Maybe every couple days I'd need a Tylenol for foot pain, but the pain I was having was completely manageable/tolerable with almost no medication. I wasn't doing anything different except taking the Elavil.

End of October to November my pain came back and I started taking Ibuprofen which helped the pain a lot. I went to my foot dr, Dr. T and he gave me a cortizone injection to help with the Tendonitis pain in my foot. The steroid injection jacked up my bg's for 3 weeks and I had minimal pain during that time too. 

That's when I got pregnant.

With high bg's and minimal pain!

The Cortizone wore off after a few weeks and my pain returned.

I stress out about my dr appointments every time. I hate to have to deal with them, their expectations, the failure I feel they're looking at me with, and just anxiousness about what they're going to say.

I noticed a pattern today that at my dr. appts, they increase my Methadone and I do pretty well, pain wise, for up to a week or week and a half... then my pain starts to rise and my next appointment, 3 weeks later, they up the Methadone. I do pretty well with my pain for about a week, week and a half, then pain starts to rise... As I Anticipate The Next Appointment....

A few days before my Idaho trip I did really well. I was excited to go and enjoy the relaxing break. The 2 days before the trip, I was running errands, dealing with high bg's (resistance?), and hot weather... pain kicked in big time.

The day of the trip, when we left, I was in minimal pain on the drive there and had only one episode of major pain while there. My pain kicked in once we drove back into California. I'd started thinking about my dr visits this week, coming home to a messy house, dealing with people in general, thinking of planning to get Blake back home, taking care of him and pain/bgs/house.... Everything combined stressing me out and the pain grew...

Is my body showing my stress through pain and the para/sympathetic nervous system?

Should I maybe increase the Elavil instead of the Methadone and see if that helps? 

It seems worth a try.

Keep my mind clear and focus on the enjoyment in life rather than the stress of life...

Also, while on the trip, I think I realized what my "injury" was that hurt my back. My back didn't start hurting until after I met Joseph. Before him, it was always ONLY foot pain. When we met, we went to a park in Davis which had a concrete slide that we went down on cardboard. At the bottom was a 2'-3' drop straight down. I didn't realize there was such a large drop until I landed on the ground. It hurt SO bad that I could barely walk for a while after and didn't go down the slide again. I took it easy but sitting and walking at that point was painful. Over these years I've had a tough time sitting on hard surfaces because it kills my tailbone... 

I thought this weekend that maybe that was the time that I injured my back and possibly bruised my tailbone. With all the sitting I've done lately the tailbone pain has been very present. The car ride home from Idaho was mostly the tailbone pain, before the back and foot pain. This is the most amount of sitting that I've done over the years and that is why I'm now noticing it. . . .