32 Weeks 6 Days

Pain persisted from about 2am on through the whole morning. It wasn't super intense but it was enough to keep me up more often than not. Joseph was able to have a break of massaging and I was able to massage for the most part. The pain stayed at a level 7 but wasn't rising so I was doing okay. Joseph wanted to go to church and really really try to get there this week. We haven't been in about 5 months and I agreed to do my very best to be ready. I crawled downstairs and rolled on my scooter to the table for breakfast. After breakfast I rolled back to the stairs, crawled up, and crawled into the bathroom to fix my hair so we could leave. Pain immediately spiked up to a 10 and I crawled to the bed for Joseph to massage my leg. It wasn't too long before I had Dad, Joseph, and Mom all massaging my back, butt, and leg. They all worked hard while I clutched the pillows and mattress in immense pain.

  After about 45 minutes of pain and additional medications we headed to Sac for the L&D. Instead we went to Vacaville ER because I didn't think I could stand the pain for that long. I was wheeled into the waiting room while Mom or Dad checked me in. They both explained my situation of my back causing pain to travel down to my ankle and how bad it was, cuz you know me crying and constantly shifting in the wheelchair wasn't enough. A nurse came out and looked at me and asked, "Why are you holding your foot?" I then proceeded to scream at her saying, "BECAUSE IT FRICKEN HURTS!" 

We waited in the waiting room for at least 30 minutes. A woman who was waiting to be seen ahead of me went up to the counter and asked, "Can't you do anything? She is obviously in a ton of pain out here!" According to Mom, the woman was almost in tears asking if I could be seen. Another time she went up and asked if I could be taken in to be seen because it's causing more people than just Me, Mom and Dad to be emotional watching what was happening. Of course the receptionist said, "I understand but she has to wait for the nurse to come out." A little while later that woman's name was called and she asked if I could be seen and she would wait longer. They denied her and she was taken back. All the while I'm standing on my left foot, letting the other foot hang in mid air since I couldn't set it down, bending over to try and stretch my back so that Dad could massage deep into the exact place my pain was stemming from. 

By the time I was finally called back my pain had started to wane just the tiniest bit. All my pills from an hour earlier were starting to kick in. My pain had dropped from a level 18 to a level 15. I laid on the bed while Dad stood next to me massaging deep. The nurse checked my blood pressure and temperature and walked out to talk to the doctor. Crying black tears all over the place, we waited, Dad massaged, Mom cried, and slowly the pain continued to back down. 

We waited 45 minutes at least waiting for some help. Pain finally got down to a more manageable level 10 and we decided to take the drive to UCDavis to get help there. On the way out of the hospital, one of the other patients in the waiting room asked Mom if I was doing better. She gave him a thumbs up. Baby definitely slowed down, probably due to the flood of drugs in our system, and I wanted to make sure she was doing okay. After that first nurse left the room, NO ONE came in to check on anything. They dropped us off in the room and abandoned me. So, we left. 

I laid in the back seat on pillows and ice. At UCD they saw me within 5 minutes. The pain had dropped to a level 8 and was holding for the most part with random stab pains in my ankle every few minutes.

After a woman-in-training failed with two IV inserts, I asked if the meds could be delivered by injection instead. The meds kicked in about 15 minutes later and they went straight to my head and made me high with minimal effect on my foot pain. We spoke with the doctor I had seen when I was admitted in Dec. She is one of the ones I actually like haha. She explained things in a much better way than any other doctor of why our options are so limited and why we can't deliver yet. She seemed to understand my situation very well and showed much compassion for what I'm going through.

When they were ready to release me, pain started to rise. We decided to stay longer, take my 6pm meds, and see if they'd help. That way, if they didn't help then I'd be there for assistance. Pain leveled out at about 6 and still the random stabs continued. We headed home after getting dinner in the cafeteria.

At home I immediately hit the couch and put ice under my back. Hopefully tonight will go better than it did last night.

I'm still praying.