23 Weeks I think? 2 Days

Pain has been visiting but it isn't a very nice house-guest.

I've been miserable and the pain has been taking longer and longer to go away. I spent an hour, literally writhing in pain, moaning & crying, and the pain still persisted. I finally fell asleep exhausted but the pain returned before too long. We have had some long nights and it's so not cool. I've been dealing with cramping as well and it ... well.. is difficult to deal with, to say the least.

I'm tired of being a nice person. When I'm dealing with issues I should get a free pass for everything else in life. Today at McDonalds, I was handed a drink with a cracked lid and caramel sauce, whipped cream and liquid sliding down the side of the cup opposite to me. The cashier KNEW it was a mess and handed it to me anyway saying, "Have a great day." When I grasped the cup my hand became instantly sticky. I annoyed and loudly sighed and said, "Really?" So the dude, who just said to have a nice day, said, "Oh. Would you like some napkins for that?" I responded with,"UM YES. UGH." This dude should have put my drink in another cup which would have been clean and handed it to me like that instead of how he did it. I didn't care one bit for me to respond in that way. That's SO not how I normally respond, but I'm thinking I'm gonna start responding in the way I'm thinking, rather than the way I should.....
I don't feel like dealing with anything anymore, except for dealing with my own issues.

I did have a nice few days of a break last week and that was nice, but it looks like I might be on the up swing now.
Lucky me... I get to go to Fresno for the weekend and deal with insane pain there in a hotel room full of people rather than being at home, which is hard enough to deal with here.

Yes, I know...

God will help me and in His time things will improve...
I know it.
I don't need to hear it.

When I do hear it, I don't hear encouragement.. 

All I hear is your dense thought pattern or
A lack of understanding of my situation as a whole.
I don't need your pity either.
All I need is for you to pray for me...

And for my mom to come wash my dishes again =)

BG levels are on the rise. I keep getting to 250 every other day so I keep increasing my insulin.

I'm so glad my dr is out of the office this week and I don't have to turn in my numbers. It allows for me to do what I need to do to make the insulin changes without added stress.